Perfunctory Tobalina effort
"Tobalina's "epic" is really just a bunch of discrete, ready-to-loop sex scenes held together by the barest whiff of a framing device. It's not as much fun as his all out orgy films but still has its moments. Gillis is the family patriarch (despite evidently being no older than his children), in hospital and supposedly on death's door. The family gather for his will reading, facilitated by hot lawyer Tamara Longley, to learn that he plans to give it all to charity - unless one of them can entertain the dying old man enough via cctv for him to be persuaded to give it all to that single person. What does he want to see? "He likes flesh and laces. " Off the kids trot to set up their sexual vignettes, with the odd cut back to a grinning pervert Gillis watching from his hospital bed, starting to feel strangely lively again. What follows are intercut discrete scenes (evidently filmed in the same room) - Stagliano and Cathy Coffer on the couch as he "interviews" her for a secretary job, Shauna Grant "modelling" for Dan T Mann, daughter Rosa Lee Kimball "entertaining" dad's high-powered friends, and Joey Silvera, in the most high concept section, hiring hookers Crystal Lake and Sparky Vasc, only to find that they're undercover cops, before turning the table on them once again by forcing them to fuck at gunpoint (and then forcing them to fuck their two male colleagues, come to rescue them). Finally, Gillis, invigorated by all this, fucks Longley in his hospital bed, and we're set up for part 2. The scenes are pretty variable - the best is undoubtedly Rosa Lee Kimball's gangbang scene, closely followed by Gillis and Longley, with Shauna Grant and Dan T Mann's scene in third place. Stagliano and Coffer's scene never really comes to life, and neither does Silvera's scene with the four participants - the latter also manages to feel a bit skeevy due to the forced nature of it all, though it's not violent (and arguably the Gillis scene has the same issue, but overcomes it via the obvious heat between the participants) Still, Crystal Lake's fucking is enlivened somewhat by the fact that she is on her period (and in very heavy flow - "I'm a virgin", she claims unconvincingly). There are however some funny lines of dialogue - one of the vice girls saying "It's tremendously illegal to have a person, at gunpoint, lick your asshole" is a cracker. It's all shot in the usual Tobalina manner, flat but reasonably competent and with a focus on continual sexual activity, but the soundtrack is a bit more synthy and less fun that the lovely light jazz-fusion stuff from his 70s films. it is what it is, but Tobalina's made stuff that's more fun and kinkier. Part 2 of Tobalina's mighty three hour magnum opus does not, you will be unsurprised to hear, throw up any great curveballs - this is definitely more of the same, to the point of tedium, though not without it's occasional pleasant moments. Jamie Gillis is still in his hospital bed, and his "kids" are still working on keeping him sexually entertained despite his miraculous recovery at the end of part one. So we open with two intercut scenes, one between Dan T Mann and the very cute Shaun Michelle as a missionary of some kind, here to bring the love of god into Dan's life - Dan proceeds to rape her despite some perfunctory "no's" that go on for a while but never sound very convincing, and of course eventually Michelle discovers that spirtual love is not the only love and offers to come back and see Dan next time her church is fundraising. As a sex scene it's pretty uninteresting but Shaun is very cute and didn't do a huge amount of stuff so her presence alone is worth it. Similarly, Drea, the erstwhile Mrs Bill Margold, didn't do a huge number of films, so her scene as (another) secretary with John Stagliano is notable primarily just for her presence, and very beautiful she is, a slightly nerdy bespectacled brunette with legs that go on forever. Again there's a bit of perfunctory noing as the scene gets started, Stagliano the lecherous prospective employer, Drea the unsuspecting professional, but it lasts for a much shorter time than in Michelle's scene, and soon they're just getting down to it. Stagliano, however, deserves a slap when he says "your legs are very long though, we have to do something about that". These two out of the way, from there it's basically the Jamie Gillis show, as he fucks his nurse, his attorney (again), his daughter, and then has Dr John Holmes and a couple of nurses join him and his daughter for a cramped orgy on a very sturdy hospital bed. All of these scenes are. . . Ok. The incest dynamic is wasted with the most perfunctory set-up ever, and the orgy is too cramped and staged to compete with Tobalina's earlier sprawling swinger parties, but Gillis looks like he's having a lot of fun, and there's heat between him and his various companions - Tamara Longley again as the solicitor, Rose Kimball as his daughter, Lynx Canon and Rita Cruz as nurses. Holmes seems to at least be somewhat erect and manages to get through the scene without doing any coke on camera, which is notable at this point, and gives a great facial cumshot to Canon (complete with whistly synth sounds, as all the cumshots in Flesh and Laces seem to have for some reason known only to Tobalina). All that leaves is for a brief narrative wrap-up in which Gillis reveals to his kids that he's fully recovered, they're all adopted anyway ("so it's ok for us to carry on fucking and sucking! I've always wanted it" exclaims his supposed daughter), and he's bought back the mansion (apparently sold, if this was mentioned before i missed it) and they can all go and live in it happily ever after, taking the nurses and the attorney with them. Awww. There's nothing particularly kinky here, nor does anyone look as relaxed and happy as in Tobalina's best films, and as such, given that Tobalina isn't exactly overburdened with film-making skill to make up for these shortcomings, this is pretty perfunctory stuff and hard to maintain much interest in. Still, i'm sure it worked well enough stripped in Tobalina's theatres."
— Steve S. (2/5)